My Post-Pilates Epiphany in Lisbon

Thursday morning in Lisbon, Portugal. I’ve just completed an exhilarating Pilates class in the most enchanting yoga studio in Lisbon. As Maggie Rogers’ uplifting tunes reverberated through the room during an intense set of planks, tears started to stream down my face, catching me by surprise. These weren’t tears of sadness but of liberation, an energetic release that felt profoundly freeing.

On my way back home, with an oat pistachio latte in hand (*if you’ve never had one, let this be your sign to try it), a wave of gratitude washed over me, culminating in a powerful realization:

I am that woman. I am the person I dreamed of becoming at 20.

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Eleven years ago, my heart was shattered. I was navigating the aftermath of a painful breakup, unsure of how to move forward. Heartbreak often means not only mourning the loss of a relationship but also grieving the version of yourself that you could have been. To cope, beyond indulging in ice cream and wine and leaning on my friends, I began to envision who I could become instead. I kept asking myself: What will my life look like ten years from now?

I didn’t have a detailed plan, but I envisioned becoming someone well-educated, brave, confident, financially independent, well-traveled, successful, and in love—with myself, my friends, a partner, and life.

Eleven years later, I can confidently say
I’ve become that woman.

I’ve become the woman who revels in her own company, who takes trains and planes solo to explore new countries and cultures, who sits in cafés journaling sipping a matcha latte, who reads romance novels and writes silly little poems in her notes app, who practices Yoga and Pilates to stay grounded and present.

I’ve become the woman who cherishes her friendships, who prioritizes annual trips with her best friends from high school, who crashes on college friends’ couches, who travels far and wide to stay connected with international friends, who officiates friends’ weddings, organizes bachelorette parties, and curates personalized gifts for loved ones.

I’ve become the woman who, after enduring heartbreak and years of dating, found her perfect match, who – now in a long-term relationship – works daily on the partnership, loves deeply, and wears her heart on her sleeve.

I’ve become the woman with a liberal arts and a management degree, graduating with honors, who is financially independent, working as a manager in the tech world, pursuing her passions, and continuously redefining what a successful career means to me.

I’ve become the woman who is close to her family, both by blood and by choice, who shows up for family gatherings, buys flowers for Mother’s and Father’s Day, sends postcards from around the world, and rarely misses a birthday call.

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Yet somehow, I’ve also remained the girl whose iCloud storage is perpetually full from taking too many pictures of everything and everyone, the girl whose voice messages could be shorter and who never tires of meeting new people and making new friends. I’m still the girl who hasn’t quite mastered basic math and who daydreams about making a home in every city she visits.

It has been a journey filled with mistakes, challenges, and moments of feeling lost. However, I always trusted my instincts and followed the vision within me, which has led me to a place of gratitude for who I am today.

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I share this ‘post pilates epiphany’ not to boast, but because I’m proud of the woman I’ve become.

I worked hard to be her, and I’ve come to understand that I deserve to feel this way—to be happy, to feel delighted, and to appreciate how far I’ve come.

My hope in sharing this is to encourage you to reflect on your own journey. Take the time to sit with your thoughts and ask yourself: Am I who I want to be? The answer might surprise or even scare you, but it’s worth exploring because each one of us has the power to shape our narrative and pave our own path.

If you had asked me ten years ago, amidst mending my broken heart, where I would be at 31, I might not have envisioned myself as a digital nomad, working remotely and traveling the world with the love of my life. Yet, here I am at 31, in Lisbon, enjoying Pasteis de Nata and Pilates classes. I’m constantly redefining my vision of the woman I aspire to be, determined to make it a reality.

While I’ve come a long way, my journey of self-discovery and evolution is ongoing, and every step is a valuable part of becoming who I want to be. While my vision of the woman I’d like to be in the next 10 years is not clear, I know I’m on the right track. Sometimes, it just takes an intense workout session and a delicious cup of coffee to acknowledge and celebrate my progress.

Sincerely, The Blonde Yeti