Intro

I’ve done something I’m not proud of. Something I promised myself I wouldn’t do. Yet, despite setting clear goals and being motivated, it happened: I neglected my writing. 

One of the things I truly set out for this year was to dedicate myself to writing in order to make significant progress in both my blog and book writing endeavors. However, life got in the way, my priorities shifted and one quarter into the new year, and I already felt off-track. With that, I started stressing, lost focus and eventually experienced writer’s block.

That being said, I realized that my behavior did not serve me and so I took the time to analyze where it went wrong and what I could do better in the next quarter (spoken like a true sales person haha). It’s normal to face obstacles and distractions along the way, but what matters most is how we respond to these challenges. Hence, in this blog post I’m sharing some of my key takeaways from the first quarter of 2024 as well as strategies on how navigate setbacks and unlock inner confidence.

---

How a Shift in Priorities Caused My Writer’s Block – a Q1 Recap

January kicked off strong. After the holidays, I traveled to Gran Canaria and spent a month there. Apart from writing every day, I didn’t eat meat, didn’t drink any alcohol, showed up on the yoga mat for 30 days straight and improved my Spanish. The year was off to a good start.

In February, I started having job interviews. After I decided that I wanted to rejoin the corporate world, I found a few roles that excited me and so I applied. The interview process was slow and even though the preparation was manageable, it took up a lot of energy and mental capacity; much more than I had anticipated. Despite participating in an online writing class, reading several books, and working out on a weekly basis, my time spent writing decreased significantly and I could tell I was slacking off. And so I didn’t achieve my (writing) goals for the month. 

Once March came around, the job hunt was in full swing and I was entering the final stages with some of the companies I applied for. On top of that, I was traveling a lot: skiing in the alps & dolomites, visiting friends in Munich and a trip down memory lane to Dublin, a city I used to call home. While the month was filled with lots of fun activities, it was also plagued with plenty of anxiety about whether I would receive a job offer. Without realizing it, the month slipped away and so did my writing goals. I did not finish writing even one blog post in March.

Neglecting my writing goals wasn’t due to a lack of ideas, it was simply a lack of discipline. Life got in the way and my priorities shifted. My attention moved to job hunting and preparing interviews. Once I missed the first writing deadline I set for myself, I ended up missing a second and a third. I couldn’t motivate myself any longer because I felt like I had already betrayed myself, I might as well do it again. The months passed, and I found myself in April without anything written or published since February. (Obviously, as you can see in the pictures, the first three months of 2024 were still plenty of fun!)

---

Navigating Setbacks

You might wonder why I’m sharing this with you. I obviously understand that I’m mainly writing for myself and I don’t have to adhere to anyone else’s timeline except my own. But the main reason why I felt the need to share this with you and get it off my chest is because I believe you’ve been there, too. I believe we all have a tendency of slacking sometimes. We’re all inclined to betray ourselves, not following through with our goals and then feeling bad about it. We all have setbacks.

They might just look different for each one of us. I perceived not hitting my writing goals as a setback and this perception of failure led to a writer’s block – a vicious cycle not serving me at all. Even worse, it only served as a self-fulfilling prophecy and caused me to write even less. Once I broke the trust with myself, I lost the trust in myself. Thus, I became the one holding myself back.

What I should have done instead was trust myself. Trust, that my goals serve as guidelines allowing me to not lose direction or sight of what I would like to achieve. Trust, that priorities can always shift and sometimes things happens that delay or prevent progress. Trust, that setbacks are part of life and can be overcome. But instead of navigating this awareness, I lost confidence in myself and allowed self-doubt as well as fear of failure to creep in.

The good news is – despite a bad conscience about not having written enough – the world is still turning, my life continued to move on and the shift in priorities allowed me to land a new job. That being said, I learned a valuable lesson: setbacks are inevitable but the best way to navigate them is to remain the trust in myself.

“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it,
not against it.”

Eckhart Tolle

I want to move on, learn from this experience and no longer hold myself back. Wherever I put my focus and whatever I put my mind to, will become my reality. If I focus on writing, I write. If I focus on job hunting, I find a job. So, in order to not fall into the trap of getting caught up in self-doubt and fear of failure, it requires an inner confidence. Which is why I’m sharing three ways to build inner confidence that work for me.

---

3 Ways to Build Inner Confidence

The first quarter of this year was another reminder how important it is to have strong inner confidence. Without it, we start losing faith in our goals and ourselves overall. Developing inner confidence involves recognizing and accepting our strengths and weaknesses, and believing in our ability to handle whatever comes our way. When we are confident in ourselves, we can approach challenges with a positive mindset and tackle them with determination. Cultivating inner confidence is an ongoing process that involves self-reflection, self-compassion, and self-improvement. It empowers us to stay true to our values, pursue our goals, and navigate the uncertainties of life with resilience and grace.

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Based on my personal experience, here are three general strategies and ways to build inner confidence:

1. SELF-REFLECTION: Self-Awareness & Acceptance

Understanding yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals is essential for building inner confidence. Embrace your uniqueness and accept yourself fully, flaws and all.

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.

Laozi

While we might have a rough idea of our strengths and weaknesses, we rarely take the time to sit and write them down, nor do we reflect on our uniqueness or our flaws. However, whenever I made the effort and properly considered them, I always felt a step closer to developing, improving and understanding myself.

Alternatively, I found that a good way to analyze my strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals are personality tests. There is nothing wrong with using external methods designed to assess intangible concepts via introspective self-report questionnaires. Some personality tests that I can highly recommend are:

• The free Myers Briggs Personality Test is a personality framework that provides insight into how a person makes decisions, interacts with people & processes information. It assumes there are 16 different personality types which is why the test is often referred to as 16 Personalities. (In case you’re curious, I’m an ENFJ)
• Red Bull Wingfinder is a free personality assessment that focuses on your strengths, the things that you’re naturally inclined to be good at, and gives you the tools and coaching to be even better.
• The VIA Character Strengths Survey is a free scientific survey of character strengths in the world.

Obviously, there are many more free and paid tests available. These are just three I have personally tried and thought to be valuable.

2. SELF-COMPASSION: Positive Self-Talk & Affirmations

Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and beliefs. If you challenge self-limiting beliefs and cultivate a mindset of self-empowerment and resilience, you naturally boost your inner confidence.

Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.

Mahatama Gandhi

This one is definitely much easier said than done. How often do we show empathy towards others, talk kindly to a friend who made a mistake but use harsh words and criticism against ourselves? It takes practice to cultivate faith and believe in our capabilities but positive self-talk and affirmations are an integral tool to build inner confidence.

Here are some of the affirmations I use. I sometimes say these things to myself under the shower, during a yoga session or before I go to bed:

3. SELF-IMPROVEMENT: Continuous Learning & Growth

Invest in personal development and skill-building. Why? Because acquired skills cannot be taken from you. Continuous learning and improvement contribute to a sense of self-efficacy and confidence. They allow us to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and view setbacks as learning experiences rather than failures.

I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.

Louise May Alcott

The more aware we become of who we are, of what drives and motivates us, the closer we get to a fulfilled life. I genuinely believe it is part of our duty as humans to get to know ourselves as best as we can. Only then will we be able to live a life full of purpose. While we all have a shared humanity but we all own unique gifts that make us who we are.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Conclusion

Now that I have a new job lined up that I’m starting in May, I can feel my brain allowing for more mental space again. My creativity is coming back and ideas are floating around in my mind again. I wasn’t even aware to what extent the pressure of job searching was impacting my ability to remain focused on other goals. As Sylvia Plath said: “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt” and I experienced this first-hand.

However, I’m not going to lie, as excited as I am about the new job, I’m also nervous. How is working full-time again going to impact my writing goals? I’m determined to reclaim my focus and dedication to writing, despite potential upcoming setbacks or shifts in priorities. I’m anticipating them and if writing this post has shown me anything, it is that I can adapt and navigate through them if I remain confident in myself.

So I guess what I’m trying to convey here, has been experienced and said by many before me and I believe the following quote accurately summarizes the idea of unlocking inner confidence and navigating setbacks and priority shifts:

Don’t wait until everything is just right.
It will never be perfect.
There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions.
So what? Get started now.
With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger,
more and more skilled,
more and more self-confident,
and more and more successful.

Mark Victor Hansen

Hopefully, my recap resonated with you and allows you to feel optimistic about the second quarter of 2024. Nothing is lost yet. You can change your mind, reassess your goals and set the sails anew. Trust yourself and be confident in your abilities to navigate through any setbacks or priority shifts that might arise. I hope your April is the new beginning you’ve been waiting for. 

What is your personal takeaway from the first quarter of 2024? Let me know in the comments below.

Sincerely, The Blonde Yeti