10 Things I Learned while Living Abroad

At 16 my closest friends did a high school exchange year. Naturally, like any teenager I wanted to do the exact same thing my friends did. I begged my parents to allow me to apply and let me live in the US for a year. I longed for the experience of leaving my comfort zone and living in a new, foreign place, meeting new people.

What I did not know at the time was that this longing I have felt since a teenager, was Wanderlust: a German word for the irresistibly strong desire to travel or wander, an impulse that comes from deep within the chest. It starts off with a tickle, a craving to discover new surroundings and drifting into unfamiliar adventures, the urge to leave one world behind to enter another. So the second I graduated high school, I left my hometown and never looked back. Since then, I let myself be guided by this yearning and have lived, studied and worked in 5 countries and have visited over 30. That being said, here are 10 things I learned about choosing to leave your hometown and living abroad:

1. Accept a new sense of home

You will forever be heartbroken. Because you will never be fully at home again.
When you leave the comforts of your home, leave family and friends behind, and decide to embark on a journey in a different country, you will come to have a new sense of home.

2. Welcome new connections with open arms

No matter where you choose to go, the world is full of wonderful people which means every day is an opportunity to meet the good hearts and beautiful minds that are meant to cross your path. Whether these people become lifelong friends or only stick around for a season, these amicable encounters reveal the beauty of human connection, so welcome them with open arms.

3. Love is always around the corner

Exchanging a smile with a stranger on the metro, or a sparkling eye contact with a bartender, a roommate whose family invites you to Thanksgiving or a colleague who shares her lunch with you – all these encounters are a form of love.
They are particularly memorable when experienced in a different country, in a different language. These intimate interactions might not only make your heart skip a beat but also make you feel more at home and less alone. And let’s be honest, ideally there is no better way to experience a country than with a local lover 😉

4. Do not fear to let go

One thing is inevitable when moving away – you will lose some people. Certain friendships aren’t meant to last. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It might be sad, it might hurt but it teaches you who is worth keeping. Letting go and moving on are part of the process in order to make room in your heart for new and meaningful connections.

5. Embrace long-distance friendships

You might lose some friends along the way but hold on to the folks who truly care and stick around regardless of the distance. Your people will always try to be a part of your life. Despite not seeing you on a daily basis, they make the effort to support you from afar. It may look like asking for pictures or voice messages, sending you relatable memes, or scheduling video calls at inconvenient hours just to accommodate for the time difference or they even book a trip to come visit you.

That being said, friendships are a two way street meaning they require reciprocal action. Being away means regularly missing out on a lot of important and monumental life moments of your friends, therefore extra personal effort is needed to maintain a relationship from afar. Staying in touch when an ocean is separating you is not always easy but some special bonds are worth it so embrace those long-distance friendships.

6. Honor Your Roots

It is not only friendships that must endure the long distance but also family. Missing them is normal. Which is why a simple video call sometimes means more than just catching up on the latest family events. It can turn into moral and mental reassurance. Which is why receiving mail from a sibling, a care package from your parents or knitted socks from your grandparents mean so much more when living abroad. Missing them makes you recognize how their upbringing has shaped you and how no matter the distance, they are always a part of you. They are your roots imprinted on your soul. When following your dreams abroad, your family’s support allows you to grow into the person you are meant to be. And how great is it to have something worth missing?

7. Growth is inevitable

Despite living it up and doing things one has never done before, we often choose to live abroad in order to advance in some kind of form. We desire to expand our knowledge of another country, culture, cuisine, or career. And while we do so, we also expand the knowledge of ourselves. By learning about others, we often end up learning about ourselves. Personal growth happens gradually but it is inevitable. It is not always as comfortable and pleasant as we imagine, nevertheless it is almost always worthwhile.

8. Stay Present

When leaving one’s comfort zone, we are often faced with uncertainty. You cannot know what the future holds and this can be scary. No matter how much you plan it or how hard you work for it, you can only influence your future to a certain degree. That being said, I learned that the best way to deal with the worry and anxiety is to stay present. Every day offers new opportunities, chances, and lessons to shape who you want to become. Looking back on all my experiences abroad, I have always gotten a better sense of who I am.

9. I’m not lonely, I’m alone

As exciting and joyful as living abroad can be, at some point, one’s spirits might be down during moments of doubt or sadness, feeling lost, homesick or lonely or all of them at once.
When living abroad you learn how to be alone, whether you are in a relationship or not. Being by yourself, you might feel lonely. But what I came to realize is that every person, every city, and every spot that found a place in my heart is part of me. Therefore, home is wherever you feel like it. You carry it with you, wherever you may go and as a result you might feel lonely but you are never really alone.

10. Traveling vs. Vacationing

When “going” abroad, there is a significant difference between traveling and vacationing. During the latter you breeze through a place, sniff it out and catch a glimpse of what a life here would look like. You may also fall in love with it but it is almost like a quick summer hook up. Fun while it lasts but not supposed to break your heart.
However, when you travel, it might start out as a crush but the more you explore, the more intimate a place becomes. Once you know your train stops without Google Maps or become a regular at your favorite café, a place is imprinted on your heart. You will know if you have truly fallen hard, because when you get home, home is still the same but something in your mind has changed. You have become a different version of yourself and that changes everything.

All in all, I desire the heartbreak. With every new place I have moved and travelled to, it became imprinted on my heart, like a puzzle pieced together of all the different places and people I have loved and called home. Like a mosaic, I aspire for my heart to be a collage – always carrying my places and people with me. Ultimately, my perception of home has changed over the years but I would not want it any other way. Traveling allows you to become so many different versions of yourself. So, if someone tells me that they are going abroad, wherever it may be, rather than reminding them of what could go wrong, I tell them how brave they are for leaving their comfort zones and encourage them to be prepared for a new perception of themselves.